I thought those were dog treats!!

I think that ground rules should have been explained BEFORE the arrival of two toddlers. Marcymommy invited some friends to dinner last week, and I was so excited. I thought surely everyone had realized my importance because I was the only dog allowed in the house during dinner. Thankfully, only one toddler at a time arrived. The first one was tall and sort of didn't notice me, which was a bit offensive but allowed me to conduct my secret investigation of her. We all sat down, me on the couch as is my right, and one of the grown-ups sat with me. Marcymommy was right next to me and this person, so I thought she must be pretty friendly. I laid down and looked up at her, I even kicked out my back legs, the ultimate sign of cuteness and comfort. She smiled and offered a hand. All was going well. Marcymommy said she was proud I didn't pee in front of everyone, a comment that should not have been made in public. Marcymommy clearly needs some help with her social skills.

After awhile, a second toddler came in, younger and shorter. She was carrying these little things that I swear looked liked the little hot dogs in beenie-weenie meals. She initially didn't see me, short as I am, so I followed her. She looked down and smiled, and seemed to offer me some little hot dogs, so I graciously accepted--with my teeth. Well, Marcymommy quietly explained that those were not hot dogs or any other treat, but rather they were a small child's fingers and I should not use my teeth to get attention or tell her to go away. After that, Marcymommy thought it best that I hang out in my room until the visitors were gone. It was a bittersweet day, she said; I've made much progress but I need lots of help with my social skills. Marcymommy said she will have me as long as it takes, which made me feel good even though she's not the boss. I am.

I'm can't believe I'm being chased by a snake!!

Several weeks have passed since my arrival at my new kingdom. So far I have mastered not screaming whenever touched, not screaming at the sight of scissors or a towel, eating dry kibble, appropriately harassing the resident kitten, and asserting myself to the monster (resident dogs). Marcymommy thought it appropriate for me to have a collar and get used to a leash. Well, admittedly, this happened after I followed her out the front door. She can make pretty funny faces when she thinks I'm going to run out in front of a car--as if! Anyway, the pink collar only took a little getting used to. The leash, on the other hand, I swear was a snake attached to my neck. Seeing as how snakes cannot run, I leaped off the couch and sped down the hallway and into the master bedroom where I was laughed at (i.e. smacked upside the head) by the resident cats. Apparently snakes can chase even though they cannot run. When I arrived back at the couch, Marcymommy was kind enough not to laugh...well, at least to stop...somewhat. I spent the next hour cuddled in her lap trying to convince her that I don't need leash training. She has not brought it out again, but says she's going to and that now my getting treats will be dependent on encouragement opportunities (she would not dare call it obedience training). We'll see about that.